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Alumni Jokes – Volume 4

Joke Time
JOKE 40

Si Sir Genes naay gipabuhat nga assignment sa klase…
Sir Genes: Okay class, draw any animal and explain why it is important to you!
Class: Yes sir!
Pagkahuman sa 15 minutos…
Sir Genes: Okay class, submit your artwork now!
(Paghatag sa drawing ni Pedro, nahibulong si Sir Genes…)
Sir Genes: O Pedro, unsa man ni imong drawing?
Pedro: Isda na sir! Isdang binuwad!
Sir Genes: Nganong itom man kaayo ni, dili naman maklaro!
Pedro: Napaig na sir, sinugba man gud!
Sir Genes: Ok! Now tell me nganong importante man sa imoha ning imong drawing?
Pedro: Mao man gud na permi namong sud-an sir!

JOKE 41

Si Santiago ug Gracia naglalis…
Gracia: Dili nako ganahan nimo, magbuwag na ta! Segi lang ka ug pangwenta!
Santiago: Dili na tinuod Gracia! Bisan ug pito ka-higayon tekang gilibre ug kaon, kawalo gitagaan ug mahalong regalo, apil pa gani imong nanay ug tatay, wala jud ka kadungog nga nangwenta ko nimo!

JOKE 42

Tungod kay bertday lagi ni Pedro, nihangyo kini sa iyang nanay…
Pedro: Nay, gusto ta nako sa akong adlaw natawhan karon ba, ma-touch ug makahilak ta ko sa message nimo?
Nanay: Okay! ‘nak SINAGOP ra man ka namo! Okay na ba akong message?

JOKE 43

Si Pedro ug Santiago nahasuroy sa USA ug napadpad didto sa Statue of Liberty. Kauban nila ang ubang tawo nga taga-laing nasud nga nahingangha sa kanindot sa talan-awon…
Italyano: (nakaingon) Magnifico!
British: Brilliant!
Russian: бриллиант No.1
Japanese: AKANE (茜)!
Arab: Zain! قاموسGood!
Pedro ug Santiago: Picture! Picture! Pang Facebook!

JOKE 44
Kay lagi umaabot na ang anniversary sa magtiayong Gracia ug Pedro…
Gracia: Honey, unsa may plano nimo sa atong 10th Wedding Anniversary?
Pedro: Dad-on teka sa Hongkong honey!
Gracia: Wow, ka sweet gud nimo! Unya sa atong 25th Wedding Anniversary honey?
Pedro: Sunduon na teka didto!

JOKE 45

Si Santiago nag-celebrate sa iyang bertday kauban iyang mama…
Mama: O ‘nak bertday na nimo, i-blow na dayon ni imong candle o!
Santiago: Segi nay!
Mama: O, unsa may wish nimo ‘nak?
Santiago: …unta naa nay cake sunod tuig!

JOKE 46

Si Ma’am Annie nangutana sa klase…
Ma’am Annie: Okay class, our lesson for today is Science. What is science?
Pedro: (nipataas dayon sa kamot) Mam! Mam!
Ma’am Annie: Yes Pedro!
Pedro: Science is our lesson for today!

JOKE 47

Si Santiago nangutang sa tindahan nilang Pedro.
Santiago: Bay, pautanga ko’g 7 kilong bugas, 4 ka sardinas ug apili unya ug 2 ka kaha nga Marlboro…bayaran nako inig abot ni misis gikan sa Dubai!
Pedro: Segi bay! Kanus-a man moabot si Mare bay?
Santiago: Nangaplay pa lang bay!

JOKE 48

Si Pedro ug Santiago nagtabi…
Pedro: Bay, kada gabii nalang jud ko kabliton ni misis!
Santiago: O, unsa may problema ana!
Pedro: E, tulo naman gud katuig siyang patay!

JOKE 49

Si Gracia niuli nga naghilak ug gipangutana kini sa iyang tatay…
Tatay: O Gracia, nganong naghilak man ka?
Gracia: Nakapasar man gud ko sa test tay!
Tatay: Di ba dapat malipay ka! Unsa nga subject mana ba?
Gracia: PREGNANCY TEST tay!

JOKE 50

Si Gracia nga katabang nila ni Juan nitubag sa telepono..
Tawo: Inday, si sir ni nimo, nabangga akong gisakyan, naa ko sa ospital karon, kinahahanglan ko ug cash!
Gracia: Wee, nangilad ka no?
Tawo: Inday, si sir lagi ni nimo! Nganong dili man ka motuo!
Gracia: Wee, si sir ang tawag niya nako kay CUPCAKE man bi!

JOKE 51

Si Gracia gisugo sa iyang amo nga babaye pagtubag sa telepono…
Telepono: Krrrrringgg! Krrrringgg!
Amo: Gracia, tubaga ang telepono bisan ug chicks na sad na sa imong sir ang nitawag!
Gracia: Si Ma’am jud o, paseloson gyud ko!

JOKE 52

Si Gracia ug Santiago nagtabi sa ilang anak…
Gracia: Sweetheart, gwapo kaayo atong baby o, gikuha jud tanan ka-gwapo nimo!
Santiago: Unsang pagkahitaboa nga dili man ko gwapo sweetheart?
Gracia: Mao gani wala nay nahibilin sa imong ka-gwapo kay napadulong tanan sa imong anak!

JOKE 53

Si Pedro nga nagtrabaho sa Qatar ni long-distance call sa iyang asawa nga si Gracia…
Pedro: Kumusta na atong grocery diha?
Gracia: Hypermarket na!
Pedro: Kanindot gud! Unya ang atong kan-anan diha?
Gracia: Resto ug Internet Cafe na!
Pedro: Wow, kuyawa na gud! Unya ang atong 2 ka anak?
Gracia: 4 na sila!
Pedro: Wow!

JOKE 54

Si Santiago gipangutana ni Pedro…
Pedro: Bay, tinuod ba nga gipanguyaban nimo si Gracia?
Santiago: O bay! Ngano man diay?
Pedro: Undanga na imong pagpanguyab niya bay kay dili mo bagay!
Santiago: (nasuko) Kinsa may bagay ni Gracia, ikaw?
Pedro: Dili, kita maoy bagay bay!

JOKE 55

Si Pedro niduol kang Gracia ug nangutana…
Pedro: Tinuod ba nga maayo kuno ka mobasa sa ubang tawo? Basaha kuno ko bi?
Gracia: Wala pa kay GF Pedro no?
Pedro: Wow, maayoha gud nimo Gracia! Giunsa nimo pagbasa?
Gracia: Kabati kaha nimo ug nawong! Obvious kaayo!

JOKE 56

Si Gracia ug Pedro nagpuyo sa 24th Floor nga Condo Unit. Sa dihang nitawag si Gracia sa receptionist sa building…
Gracia: Hello Ms., please send MAINTENANCE! Ang akong mister moambak sa building! Pagdali!
Receptionist: Ma’am, nganong maintenance man?
Gracia: Dili man gud maabli ang bintana!

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MOST ADMIRED TEACHERS OF BNHS YEARS BACK.

This is a blog entry from a certain anonymous, a very humorous BNHS alumna (name and batch withheld due to her request) and was sent to us out of pity, joke.  In a cover letter sent to us, the following notes were written:

Kanimo BNHS Borbon Moderator,

Maayong adlaw kanimo.  Hinaot nga anaa ka sa maayong panglawas.

Ganahan ko nga matagaan unta ni nimo ug igong panahon nga maapil kining akong hinan-ay nga mga pulong agi’g paghatag ug respeto sa mga maestro ug maestra nako kaniadto sa BNHS nga maoy hinungdan sa akong pagpaningkamot karon.

Palihug intawn maluoy ka sa pag-post ani aron makita ug mabasa sa akong mga teachers kaniadto.

Salamat,

-Anonymous

In response to anonymous alumna, we accordingly sent a reply giving assurance to the plea.

Dear Anonymous Alumna,

Your request is noted.

Please be advised that we value contributions from our co-alumna like you.  Your blog to us is highly appreciated and we will post your entry right away.

Thank you for sharing with us your wonderful write-ups.

-BNHS Borbon Moderator

This is how the blog goes…

Photo Credit:  bnhsssg @ fb

Hello alumni! How art thou?

It’s been a very long time that I haven’t been there to my beautiful Alma Mater.  I really wanted to visit my previous school to see my old teachers (read as, ‘dating guro’) and I apologized if I haven’t been in touch with them for quite some time now— but wait, am I that important to my previous teachers in high school? Wish ko lang, lol!

Anyway, the year is about to end with a bang, literally, because of the impending Mount Bulusan eruption somewhere in Sorsogon but let’s just wish and pray that it’ll be a mild one and not catastrophic to our kababayans out there.  Bat ba ang layo ng usapan na to…abot pa hanggang Luzon.  Well, pagpasinsyahan n’yo na at medyo ganito lang talaga ako magsulat pag inspired.

You know, the year 2010 has been very good for me because I’ve learned a lot especially in reaching out to the needy and the sick. Thanks to the assistance of my friends at work (company name withheld), I consider myself quite an achiever this year.  Why?

Maybe because of my teachers in BNHS that had inspired me a lot.  Now I became a better person and I’d like to honour them in this humble list I call, My Most Admired Teachers of BNHS (Years Back).

These are just my choices ha, not the choice of the writers here or the moderator. If you don’t like my list, well, I don’t care. Hahaha! After all, this is my list and not yours. Feel free to make your own sungit though, if you want.

So ladies and gentlemen, alumni, teachers and students of BNHS, here they are.  Beware, I know I’m a bit biased, as the list comprised only of the teachers during my time.  Maybe some of the teachers listed herein may no longer teach in BNHS.

Top of my list is…  Mrs. Lorna T. Ibo (the very energetic school principal).

  1. Mrs. Lo – the effective disciplinarian and guidance counselor
  2. Mr.  Hortel – the very generous social studies teacher (kay dagko mohatag ug grades)
  3. Mrs. Polinag –  the vulnerable English teacher yet compassionate in some ways
  4. Mr. Pacaldo – the master mathematician
  5. Mrs. Tejano – the diligent teacher adviser
  6. Ms. Armodia – also the effective math teacher and adviser
  7. Mr. Taneo – the commandant and a good counselor too
  8. Mrs. de Roda – the kind-hearted home economics teacher like a typical mother
  9. Mrs. Bentulan – the clever teacher in science

10.  Mrs. Valero – the vigorous PE teacher that will make your ten bones…alive

11.  Mr. Mundo – the active PE teacher too

12.  Mrs. Monta – the English teacher who taught us the story of the “Hare and the Moon”

13.  Mrs. Oregenes – TBA (To Be Advised)

14.  Mrs. Pitogo – TBA

15.  Mr. Good – TBA

16.  Mr. Aton – TBA

If I missed the names of other teachers and their attributes, you have to understand, because I already have this thing called social regression malady.  Some of my friends said, that it’s a rare sign of a person reaching his/her late  adulthood stage— it’s quite normal though, kaya intindihin nyo na rin ako.

At isa pa, ganyan talaga ang nagagawa ‘pag lagi kang umiinom ng anti-depressant drugs, medyo magkakaroon ka na talaga ng memory lapses… joke lang.

Peace to all BNHS teachers!  We love you all and thank you very much for the learnings!

-Blog sent to us by Anonymous Alumna

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