Messing With Englisheros
Every time I hear English-speaking dudes in any social intercourse, it’s already my habit to snoop around and try to pay attention on how well they speak in English. I am not trying to eavesdrop or so, but it’s my habit (actually) to see and learn how they deliver or articulate every word coming from their lips. You would really admire how good they are, except for some. I’ve got tons of friends who work in a call center and, believe me, you would not dare messing them in English discourse. Sure nga mag-nosebleed jud ka kong moapil ka nila.
Last Saturday morning, I made a quick stop at SM City Cebu to buy some groceries (read as Quick Chow & Lucky Me noodles) before going home (Borbon) for a weekend. I saw this dude approaching to a security guard at the main entrance and tried to leave his bag as he wanted to go to a posh boutique (forgot the name but maybe for window shopping only). The poor guard advised the “dude” to go to the package counter in the grocery section as their protocol strictly prohibits them from taking customers’ bags. The guy insisted but the guard stood to his word. The dude (felt embarrased, as there were people looking including me) suddenly fire up an all-English word lashing.
Dude 1: (showing his bank ID) “How dare you say NO to the very customer who pays your salary? Don’t you know that you are bound to a mere psychological contract and that we have unwritten privileges as customers? Think about that!” Then the dude walked away with his bag.
The poor guard just blinked a couple of times without saying anything to the dude. What I understand is that the dude wants the guard to bear in mind, not to mess with an English speaker like him. Also the dude tried to expunge from embarrassment (as the guard was right) and portrayed to be intellectually capable instead— less the breeding.
After completing my purpose at the grocery section, I immediately took a PUJ ride to NBT (read as North Bus Terminal).
While catching my ride at the loading area, I was unfortunately trapped with a group of boisterous English-speaking youngsters. Here we go again! What a day, I uttered to myself. From their looks and faces, they looked like tourists to me (not forenjers ha, but BISDAK japon). It seemed that the group was celebrating and will be visiting a resort maybe somewhere in Tabogon. Like I care, hehehe. The group was so loud that I would really want to shut their pie holes (read as mouth), excuse my word. As we move from NBT and traversing the north road, the group really never stopped speaking in English. One dude next to me was so busy talking with the others from behind and delivering his punchlines in broken English. To my right, an old lady sitting on the next row, also rolling her eyes in defiance…with a word Ahak!
Dude 1: Where are we heading guys?
Me: (Nganong nikuyog pa man ni siya oy, Duh!)
Dude 2: It’s a resort dude, there’s plenty of adventure over there. Bet, it’s gonna be fun!
Me: (Unsa kaha nga adventure iyang giingon, ligo ra man ug dagat, double Duh!)
Dude 3: Are we there yet?
Me: (Ahak baya oy, kita bitaw na siyang gadagan pa ang sakyanan, Catmon pa kaha mi, Triple Duh!)
Dude 4: But we’re still in Catmon dude. It’s gonna be a long stretch before we reach Sogod. Wait till we reach Damolog and we will be there in no time.
Me: (Duh, duh, duh…like we don’t know…naguba na jud ang nawng ni manang sa akong kilid ay)
I really have no idea but maybe they use English at home or in their line of works. Mga call boys ma siguro ni sila oy. Call boys as in call center agents. I have nothing against call center people as I have friends of the same profession. Ang diperensya lang, my friends have right dispositions for they know when and where to speak in English kay mauwaw sad baya sila.
I know, I don’t speak and write good English. Everyone can comment me on that, it’s fine with me. You can probably find grammatical errors in this post too. But speaking in English not in the right time and place doesn’t make you cool at all. Don’t get me wrong on this.
We can speak English anytime we want and if it is called for. Pero kong dili na gani kinahanglan, pagbisaya na lang gud…hehehe.
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